I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
