I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
