like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
