We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
tell me about the eggs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
