Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
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He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
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Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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