Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I understand Curling. That high.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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