I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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