very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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