What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday