I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
