Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?