Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.