When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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