can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
