Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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