the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
