My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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