textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize