you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
