No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
They have beer where we have blood.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
