the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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