I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
