I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Im part way to drunk.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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