No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
