Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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