I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
