I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
