ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize