I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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