well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
