I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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