I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
PANTIES FOUND
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