you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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