The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize