his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
