Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
