turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again