he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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