That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
