how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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