we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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