There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
