One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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