Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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