You really coming over, don't trick.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
