i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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