I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
