Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
