Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
