K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
