I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
