Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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