Its about making memories worth repressing
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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