This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
