i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize