Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
