Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
