At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
