Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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