when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
