you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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