My first STD was from a foam party
i think i have herpe
just one?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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